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I was mourning my baby after childbirth—then my 8-year-old son whispered, “Mom, she’s not gone. I saw what Daddy did.


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Grant was gone a lot. He said work.

Which is a strange thing for me to have accepted, because Grant had been laid off from Tallow Ridge Millworks on the fourteenth of March.

I knew that. I knew it the way you know things through a wall. He said “work” and I thought “he’s picking up hours somewhere” and I did not follow the thought any further, because following thoughts was not something I could do that month.

Elias went quiet too.

That’s what I noticed first, and I want to be honest that I noticed it in the way you notice weather. He stopped narrating. He stopped coming in and lying on the bed and telling me things. He’d come and stand in the doorway of my room and look at me, and I’d say hey bud, and he’d say hey, and then he’d go.

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